For the past several months I’ve bounced around a lot around here. My plans for “full steam ahead” came to a grinding halt in the fall and I’ve remained mostly radio silent until now. I had big plans of doing all kinds of fun gift guides, sharing ideas for holiday decorating and some fun DIY projects but a lot of life change, stress at work and depression kept me from wanting to do more than absolutely necessary to get by.
Around the time B and I headed off for Vacation, he applied for a big promotion at work. This position was left vacant suddenly after his department imploded due to unpopular corporate decisions and simply being unwilling to change. Not only was it tense enough with the mood of his guys, he then was the only applicant willing to put is neck on the line to take charge and try to make things better for everyone else that stayed. I was proud of him for taking the chance but terrified that he was being set up to fail. It’s going to be hard for anyone to step in and take over when things are this bad.
By mid-October, the job was his and suddenly he was working a ton more hours, more and more traveling and I could tell he was feeling more stressed than usual. That made me not want to discuss or really even dwell on my own issues because I felt like they weren’t as important. All that time spent holding my own feelings in began to impact me.
Things today are far from where I’d like them to be but B is settling in to his new job and they are beginning to take steps in his department to replace those that they lost. While I still struggle with work, I am reminded again of the fact that I don’t love my business the way I used to. Many of the things that have been going wrong in my eyes are due to the fact that I just don’t have the drive that I once did.
I’ve known for years that I wanted to blog; I just always thought blogging would be part of my business, not something different and new. The truth is, Twig and White didn’t take off this year like I’d hoped. I’ve watched fellow start ups newer than mine, grow exponentially and mine has remained pretty stagnant. I don’t spend a lot of comparing but it’s hard to see others do so well so fast and feel like I’m getting nowhere.
If there is one thing I have learned about myself since starting my business, I’m not a quitter. I take bumps in the road as a challenge to overcome and Twig and White is no different. I’m working on some fun new projects to share in the coming weeks and with the changes at work, I’m looking forward to spending more time here. I’ve said it before and I still feel as sure…this is where I want to be. Twig and White was my “fresh start” nearly a year ago and I’m determined to make it the start of something great!
On a personal note, Thanksgiving was good. We spent time with family, ate way too much food, cut down our tree and decorated most of the house. We’ve been doing lots of Christmas shopping and preparing for what is going to be a very hectic, busy Christmas but one filled with family and friends. I hope the same is true for you.
I’ll be taking it easy this week but after Christmas I’ll be taking you along my journey of redoing our master bedroom! That’s a transformation you wont want to miss and I’m working on a new schedule for 2018. Merry Christmas.